Disclaimer: this list will most likely be incomplete, and due to loss of long term memory, facts may be twisted and or fabricated. Any similarity to anyone living or dead is merely a coincidence.

Job 1: Penny Saver Delivery Boy

The Penny Saver was a small periodical that was delivered in my home town of Huntington, NY. It mainly contained ads and classifieds of people selling lawnmowers and the like. The job was handed down from my sister who had grown tired of the "stupid Penny Saver job".

The route was contained within a few blocks of my neighbourhood. As I look back today, it seems quite small, but at the time it seemed unmanageable. To make matters worse, each day you had to combine the ads and the classified together to form a compete Penny Saver. I would come home from school to see three to five piles of adverts and classifieds mocking me from our driveway. I dreaded the route, and on more than one occasion I would stop halfway through and throw the papers in the King Kulan dumpsters (King Kulan being our local grocery store). After many complaints from people not receiving their stinking Penny Saver, which was free I might add, I was forced to deliver the complete route every time.

I was finally released from my Penny Saver job when on family vacation. I let my friend Kenny handle the route while I was gone. Kenny, being smarter and lazier than I, proceeded to dump all the papers, not even combined, behind a hedge in our backyard. When I returned from vacation, the Penny Saver route was no longer. I had to feign anger in front of the proper authorities at Kenny's complete lack of regard for the humble institution that was the Penny Saver and its readership, but in private Kenny and I celebrated our victory. We could now continue our sorties to steal assorted items from the local delicatessen unhampered by the time consuming paper route.