Job 6: The boy who would be king

In business finance, there are a couple of basic ideas. You have assets and you have liabilities. Receiving a 18,000 dollar annuity when you turn eighteen would be considered an asset. Purchasing your neighbor's Landscaping company for an over inflated sum would be considered a liability. Being a teenager who knows nothing about business, and spends most of his free time smoking Thai stick and watching He-Man could be considered a major liability.

I made the mistake of thinking I could run my own landscaping company. My neighbor Frank wanted out, and he helped convince me that I wanted in. I figured I would be my own boss, and I could work when I wanted to. I would be the man.

After a winter of negotiations with Frank about prices and equipment, I started the spring as the sole proprietor of F.P.D Landscaping. I called every client and informed them of the new owner, and let them know that if they stayed with us they could expect the same professional quality service. There was one small problem. I was barely eighteen, and when I got nervous I mumbled and talked under my breath. RING RING, "Hi, this is Mrk Wiaulky frm F.P.D Landscpn, I am the new, uhh, ownr, and I uhh, was wrundrin if..." This didn't go over so well, and we started the spring with a few less accounts than I had anticipated.

I received a 1972 Chevy C10 pickup truck with the purchase of my new company. After a fair amount of landscaping, we would detach the trailer at a friends house, place a keg in the truck bed that we cleverly hid under the grass clippings, and we'd drive to the nearest park to unwind from our three hours of mowing that day. It had all the makings of an after school special. A young boy, inexperienced in driving, fills himself full of beer and Thai stick, and drives a truck full of grass, friends and beer kegs around Long Island. Not my finest moment. Thankfully, fate stepped in. When we returned to my friends house the next day to retreive the trailer filled with landscaping equipment, it was gone. I think that this could be considered a liability. A note to all future business owners: don't leave your entire business in a trailer unlocked and unattended, so anyone with a trailer hitch can drive away with it. Who knew? My short lived career as a landscaping king pin was over.