Soon the word about my scar started to spread. People came from miles around to pray to the Mary scar. People told stories of miraculous healing, and, eventually, lepers came from all around the world to get a glimpse of this miracle with the hope that the claims of its healing power were true.
A local priest came by the house one day, and after viewing the Mary scar, decided that I needed to go to Rome, to the holy city, to the Vatican. He felt strongly that this miracle needed papal perusal. I heartily agreed, and off I went to Rome.
I arrived in Vatican City a few days later, and after many bishops and priests viewing and analyzing the scar, I was finally granted a visit with the Pope. I was brought to a Papal green room of sorts, offered Evian water, some fruit, and then waited for almost three hours. Having the ear of God must be busy work, and the Pope’s schedule was quite full. Finally, I was brought into the Popes room.
Being polish myself, I felt a connection with him, and I muttered some old polish greeting I remember my Grand Aunt saying when I was young. I obviously got it wrong, because he looked a bit irritated after I said it. He asked me to remove my shirt, and he took a good long look at my scar. After about five minutes of Papal inspections, he started to chuckle. His chuckle turned into a laugh, and then he started belly laughing. He laughed and laughed for what seemed like hours. I started to feel uncomfortable, and I realized, if the Pope has God’s ear, and he is laughing at me, then God himself is laughing at me. This was a little hard to bear, and I almost broke out and ran. The Pope, seeing my dismay, stopped laughing and said, "You see my son, this scar looks very much like our blessed mother, but she is not. She is most beautiful, and she looks almost saintly, but this scar is truly…" He paused for a moment as if he was unsure. He turned to a bishop standing near by, and whispered something in his ear. The bishop quickly left the room. The Pope just sat there looking at me and my scar smiling for about three minutes, and then the Bishop returned carrying a DVD. It was Vanilla Sky, and he pointed at the back cover to the Pope. "Ah.." he said, "This is her, Penelope Cruz. She does bear a slight resemblance to some portraits of the virgin I have seen, it is true, but this is not her, it is indeed Penelope Cruz" He started laughing again, and I was led out to the street.
I flew home in dismay that my miracle scar was really something more suited for People Magazine. However, after closer inspection, I can see the resemblance.
