If you don't like it, get the fuck out

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If you don't like it, get the fuck out

Walking home last night I succumbed at Manny's Pizzeria. I've been trying to avoid pizza because, well, I just can't stop eating pizza. I was so damned hungry, I lost all will to refute my pizza cravings. I strolled into Manny's trying to remain calm and wiping the drool from my face and shirt.

INT Manny's Pizzeria Night

Two men stand inside talking.

COUNTER MAN stands behind the counter. He seems like he's more than an employee. He's an owner maybe, or a son of the owner. He's a short Italian man, with a cop mustache, and thinning brown hair.

CUSTOMER stands at the counter. He is a large dark Italian man. He has thick black hair slicked back over his head. He is very tall and wide, must be at least 280 lbs. He's wearing a dark blue warm up suit with a New York Yankees emblem on the breast.

MARK a hungry duffus urbanite, walks in and stands at the counter.

There is a talk radio show playing loudly from the speakers in the ceiling. The announcer sounds very much like Rush Limbaugh, maybe his very Christian younger brother. He is smug, arrogant and crammed full of 'The Truth'

RADIO VO
God will wipe the earth of the godless sinners, cleanse the earth of lawlessness and filth...

COUNTER MAN
(Strong Brooklyn Accent)

I think he'll like it, he's a tough kid...

CUSTOMER
(Stronger Accent)

Thats the one Chuck Norris trained on before he did Octagon, he used it for years before he released it publicly. You see that movie, he was a fucking bad ass.

CM
yea, fucking kicked ass

CUSTOMER
bad ass.

CM turns to new customer

CM
what can I get you buddy?

MARK is looking at a piece of paper tacked to the wall. Scrawled in rough handwriting is written, "If you don't like it, get the fuck out of our country."

MARK
uhh...can I get a slice, please

CM
sure...you gonna eat it now?

MARK
uh, yea...

CM turns and throws a cheese slice into the oven

RADIO VO
...all sinners will be purged from the earth, and god shall...

CM
(looking up at the radio speaker on the ceiling)
I love this kinda shit

CUSTOMER nods

MARK notices a 'Jesus Loves You' bumper sticker affixed to the Pizza oven, and nods as well, if a bit nervously.

CUSTOMER turns and points at a polaroid of a man holding a pie. The man in the photo is standing behind the counter at Manny's. He is a black man, and has a big smile on his face.

CUSTOMER
(his accent seems to get stronger at every waking moment)
would you look at that (laughs), he looks like a fuckin' rapper or something.

MARK imagines all black men look like rap stars to this guy. He shuffles feet uncomfortably.

CM nods, and checks to see if the slice is done.

MARK looks on hopefully as the CM slips the spatula under the slice, but its not done.

CUSTOMER
you should get a shot of your dad up in here

CM nods as he listens more intently to the radio

RADIO VO
...into the fires of hell...

CUSTOMER
He's probably afraid to put one up 'cause he's wanted in Palermo from thirty years ago.

CM and MARK look quizzically at the customer.

CM checks slice again, but still not done.

MARK stares nervously out the front door and thinks, "If you don't like it, get the fuck out..."

A pregnant pause passes that seems to last an hour. It's really only a half a minute.

CM pulls the slice from the oven and slides it onto a paper plate. Drool starts to pool in the corner of MARK's mouth, again.

CUSTOMER slides a tray of assorted spices, cheese and salt across the counter.

MARK nods in thanks.

EXT 5th ave, Brooklyn, outside of Manny's Pizza, Night

MARK walks out of the pizzeria and crams the slice down his throat before he gets half a block.

Radio VO
(in the distance)
...redeem thyself, or face eternal damnation...

October 2, 2003