WASHINGTON (Rooters) - It has been reported that the estimated stock of oil in middle eastern oil fields was grossly over estimated, and the last barrel of oil was pulled from the last working well yesterday. "It seems we made a slight mistake in our calculations, must of misplaced a decimal point or something." a scientist from Halliburton stated, "It appears that middle eastern oils fields have all gone dry." All US troops have since been evacuated from Iraq, Saddam Hussein has been reinstated as President/Dictator, and the United States has begun referring to Iraq as Cambodia and/or Somalia.

When asked about this latest development President Bush stated, "We are not the peace keepers of the world. This seems like a matter for the UN to handle." When asked about the current conflict in Israel the President declared, "What, oh that, who cares."