And so "the" holiday has passed, another Christmas done and gone. And yet, the war rages on in our hearts and minds.

I tried to do my part for the war effort.

• I held a Micky Santa hostage until he admitted his holiday cheer was chemically enhanced.
• Informed children everywhere that santa was a fraud. Not that he doesn't exist, but that his toy empire was built on the backs of the working elves.
• I chased an elderly woman down the street after she greeted me with a "Merry Christmas", I threw her into the gutter and screamed "Happy Holidays" until she wept and begged for my secular mercy. I gave none.

It is the small efforts that will help us triumph over the fruit cakes and poorly arranged Christmas songs.

As a final blow against the great seasonal tyranny, I mocked the very "spirit" of the holiday. To the dismay and horror of my friends and loved ones, I turned against the spirit of giving and gave my money to charity. No gifts labeled to or from Mark this year. To spite the very meaning of the holiday, I laughed in the face of it all and gave the money away to those selfish bastards who actually need it.

I turned the holiday on its ear and became a humanist, a damned dirty humanist. There is no place in this holiday, or this country for that matter, for humans. Mickey learned that the hard way.

But we are rising up. We are getting stronger. There are plenty of "humans" in this world that will hear our call. You can run. You can try and hide your freshly unwrapped Xbox 360s and your assortments of cheese and sausages, but it is only a matter of time. The humanists will hunt you down, and you will pay.