Mom: Your sister says that you and your brother want surf and turf for Easter dinner.

of note: it is said that "atheists" will attempt to blaspheme any holy dinner with crustaceans and sarcasm. In lieu of crustaceans, mollusks may be used with a heavy dose of self defacing wit.

Me: She asked us what we wanted to eat, and I mentioned lobster, and then Matt got excited about the idea of surf and turf.

Mom: Well, it kind of makes sense, as Jesus turned a fish into loaves of bread.

Me: Fish into bread?

Mom: Well, something like that...

also of note: My mother went to Catholic school and was raised by her very strict, very Polish, very Catholic grandmother.

Me: Amen.

of interest: I was raised by a pack of secular wolves.

Matthew. 14:13-21b

And they say unto him, We have here but one white fish, and no bread. He said, Bring it hither to me. And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass, and he took the whitefish, and looking up to heaven, he blessed, and brake, and the fish becamith bread and cheddar goldfish, and he gave the fishbread and goldfish to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude. And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the fragments that remained twelve baskets full of fishy bread and goldfish. And they that had eaten were about five thousand men, beside women and children and a couple of dogs and one very small goat and those who could not partake of the fishy bread for they hast wheat allergies.