Due to the public's overwhelming distrust of Instant Messaging and Robots, the Federal Ministry of Instant Messaging Fear and Robot Distrust has forced me to disassemble mwilkiebot and scatter the bytes to the four corners of the globe (how a globe can have corners I'm not quite sure). In the end, mwilkiebot was charged with breaking the unspoken fourth law: Do something worthwhile.

Farewell mwilkiebot, your glorious and inspired automated responses shall be missed.

the only known photo of mwilkiebot

Super Human Intelligence Trans-global Inc. is proud to announce MWilkieBot 1.0* **.

MWilkieBot, where the future was yesterday.

Afters years of research and development at SHIT laboratories, we have perfected the mwilkiebot prototype and are now prepared to preview it to the public.

The researchers at SHIT Inc. have spend years perfecting a highly sophisticated user interface called "iCommand Line® " and we have brought this dramatic new technology to the Instant Messaging sphere. Why just IM your friends to say 'hey', IM MWikieBot and say "HEY!"

MWikieBot 1.0 supports the exciting new feature: search movies by title.

How do I get in on the ground floor of this exciting new technology you may ask? Open your AIM client and start a chat with mwilkiebot, and then prepare yourself to be blown away by the power of "iCommand Line®".

MWikieBot 1.0 - in stores nowhere near you.

* MWilkieBot may have various similarities to N4CHL1N BOT 1.4, but any, or most, similarity is purely coincidental.

** MWilkieBot my cause extensive bleeding from the rectum and /or massive coronary infarction.

added a couple of new bot commands tonight.

1. hal ?
2. showtimes 'zipcode' list movie theatres and showtimes for a particular zipcode

Capitalizing on all of Jim's hard work, I stole...err, borrowed his AIM chatbot code to hack up my own chatbot.

Jim leveraged the very nice perl Net::OSCAR AIM APIs, which makes it very easy to write up an AIM chatbot.

In the future I will use the bot to do exciting things like, well, I don't really know, but it'll be great. For now the bot responds to a few simple commands, one of which will let you read the latest post here at bitterpill.org. So instead of reloading this page every day for a month or so waiting for a post, you can send a simple IM chat command to see that I haven't posted. Ah technology, it really is making our lives better.

Send an AIM message to mwilkiebot for loads of hot bot on bot action.

Send an AIM message to N4CHL1N to chat up Jim's bot.

Jim uses the Acme::Wabby APIs to make for some interesting bot conversation.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

note: gina's IM handle has been altered to protect the innocent.

gina (6:43:03 PM): fred durst¹ is suing gawker²
gina (6:43:15 PM): link to gawker mocking Mr. Durst for suing
gina(6:43:34 PM): "subpoena the root password ³" was uttered
...
mwilkie00 (6:45:49 PM): I just IMed fred the root password, that should settle this...
...
mwilkie00 (6:50:03 PM): so what are you called when you are a lowly sysadmin to a media whore?
gina (6:50:30 PM): a monkey?
mwilkie00 (6:50:46 PM): a dirty little monkey...

1. Fred Durst is a rock star who video taped himself fornicating with a, what I imagine is a very regretful, woman.
2. Gawker is the current internet media company for who I am contracting as a Unix System Administrator and is being sued by Mr. Durst for publishing the dirty little video tape of himself and some poor women on its website. Why the entire universe isn't suing gawker for making said video public is a question for another day.
3. root is the master account on a unix system. A user with the root password has access to all files and data on that system, they are also quite l33t.