So forgive me if I can't get behind the orgy of cheap and easy piety that's greeted the death of this pope. Watching the talking twats on CNN pay their respects to this "universally beloved man of God" (how many of them have had premarital sex, I wonder?), to say nothing of the suddenly so-reverent assholes on Fox News (Bill O'Reilly didn't have many nice things to say about the pope when he opposed the invasion of Iraq), is making me want to throw a bottle of lube through a stained-glass window.

Yeah, yeah: I'm sorry the old bastard's dead, I'm sorry the old bastard suffered. But I'm not so sorry that I won't stoop to working John Paul II into a column about zombie fetishism.

- savage love